INTX Nerd

 Dominant  Auxiliary  Tertiary  Inferior
INTJ Ni Te Fi Se
 INTP Ti Ne Si Fe
INFJ Ni Fe Ti Se
 INFP Fi Ne Si Te

Patterns

  1. Generally speaking, introverted functions focus on the self and stay longer, whereas extroverted functions focus on others and tend to move on more quickly.
  2. Te vs Ti: Formal vs Informal way of understanding the world
  3. Ne vs Ni: Source for phenomenons vs Emerge the essence within
  4. Se vs Si: Seek new outward stimulation vs stick to what I already have
  5. Fe vs Fi: Broad & extensive emotional connections vs Deep & Intensive personal value

INTJ or INTP? 

Definitely an INTJ. Ni Dom Te Aux. No way I am a Ti Dom. Ti Ne is not the efficient way to rule the world and sounds rather stupid. Though have to admit that sometimes I could be quite Si Fe instead of Fi Se. More SiFe-ness when I was younger. The older I get the more FiSe-ness shown.

Moral of Story

Do not take the MBTI personality test and trust the result 100%. Study the cognitive processes instead.

The Myth of Sisyphus Intro

  1. Jean Paul Sartre and others have been dismissive of The Myth of Sisyphus for its muddled philosophy. But Camus’s essay is not a treatise but a tract, a tract aimed at evacuating god, and a promise to live by the rigor of that evacuation. It is an oration, a personal statement written by a young man living in narrow exile in Paris during the bleakest early days of the Second World War. This young man offers a vulnerable summation of the little that he has so far learned: “I don’t know whether this world has a meaning that transcends it. But I know that I do not know this meaning and that it is impossible for me just now to know it.” Faced with this vulnerability, we should not mark Camus as if he were sitting a metaphysical exam, but judge his essay as a work of art. That is to say, we should judge it by the dignity of its argumentation, not by the grandeur of its proofs, by the beauty of its effort, not by the conclusiveness of its attainment. In this light, The Myth of Sisyphus is indeed a moving and impressive work, still able to stir those readers willing to waver.
  2. In particular, his work can seem to be a reply to Dostoevsky and to Kierkegaard, and to the battered paradox whereby those two writers acknowledge the absurdity of the universe only to embrace more strongly the scandal of belief in God … and like both Dostoevsky and Kierkegaard, whom Camus criticizes for their ‘leap’ into irrational faith, Camus is forced into his own kind of ‘leap’, which is the assertion – and it is not much more – that we must oppose the world’s meaninglessness with our revolt, our freedom and our passion.
  3. Camus, of course, not merely to laugh, but to find some kind of solution, outside the religious, to this comic ‘chain of daily gestures’. One cannot escape this comedy, but one can at least metaphoricalize it, see it in its largest universal dimension, and then resist it, fight it with pyrrhic integrity. The first step, then, is to turn the comic into the absurd, to convert daily repetition into eternal Sisyphean repetition … Formally, it may not look very different… Internally, of course, the absurd life is entirely different, because the absurd person knows the difference between ignorant routine and rebellious repetition.
  4. Though Camus would not admit it, he can counter the terms of the absurd only with a leap of its own, a leap into negative faith. ‘Being aware of one’s life, one’s revolt, one’s freedom, and to the maximum, is living, and to the maximum.’ Camus’s leap may perhaps not at first resemble one, and this is partly because he so widens the terms of what constitutes revolt that his leap may involve nothing more than simply remaining alive, simply refraining from killing one self. Where Kierkegaard demands a fierce and fateful choosing of god, where Dostoevsky demands a grotesque paradoxical decision to see the horror of the world and then to use it as what Camus scornfully calls a ‘tremplin d’eternite’, a springboard to eternity, Camus tells us, in effect, that we cannot avoid the leap unless we want to kill ourselves. Camus does not quite say anything as simple as ‘We can only choose life,’ but that is the brunt of his assertion. And in the end, it is an assertion, a determination, a faith. Camus proves nothing. Perhaps Camus is right that to kill oneself would be to allow death to have dominion, and that to live rebelliously is both to be aware of and to reject death. But these are the essentially religious terms – or the shadows of religious terms – that Camus has himself inherited and adapted.
  5. One can imagine another argument for rebellion that also advocated suicide; or one can imagine another argument that did not involve rebellion but certain kinds of resignation. In other words, in place of Camus’s mixture of tragic stoicism and pagan revolt, there might exist a more simply tragic vision (as in Sophocles and King Lear, for instance), or a more blandly stoical acceptance (as in Epicurus and Lucretius, for instance) The difficulty of Camus’s proposal for rebellion is that, at times, he seems merely to be describing life itself, which is tautological.
  6. What moves us, in part, is the spectacle of Camus’s belief: what moves us is not that Camus’s emblem of the absurd is so entirely metaphorical, but that Camus believes in him so fiercely, and so sympathetically describes his fate and his revolt, that Sisyphus appears to be real to Camus, and becomes almost actual for us. This is the quality of Camus’s thought, and it is why he is such a powerful novelist: he takes religious terms, turns them into secular metaphor, and then, by dint of his sympathetic concentration on them, appears to reconvert them back into a usable reality.

The Hustlers

hustler

So there’s this kind of artists which we find convenient. They pick up your calls, submit whatever material you want on time, do not have much opinion on the show direction, and never ask for a big cut from your sales profit etc. Sometimes they even go one step further to allow us exploiting them and their work. As an art dealer, by all means we should engage with these whoreable and slutty artists, frankly speaking. They just make our life so much easier. But unfortunately these artists are usually quite shitty, and worst of all they are not even an artist in the first place. They need us more then we need them, merely because they want to make it into art, to get the money and fame they don’t deserve. They can’t excel in the field they are now working in, or see no hope of making big bucks without putting in more effort and hours of labor, so they jump into another pool of murky water with the hope of not getting all his / her shortcoming exposed under the sunlight, while making money.

And then, there’s this kind of heartless art dealer, who do not mind to work with these shitty slutty artist. They don’t care if, in the long term, promoting these artists could one way or another hurt this industry, which is already badly wounded. They are the people who think studying art history is just a waste of time because it won’t get them more sales. They like the convenient artists, simply because they can simply pick them up at the roadside at no cost, give them some branded new clothes and makeup then sell them at much higher price to some desperate rich old guys. They are salesperson, the murky water. Just like the so-called artists, they come into this industry to get easy fast cash without working their ass off.

So one day, this art dealer brought the slut to a branded clothing store, thrown some cash at the counter and asked for some nice clothes. The writer, who was asked to give the slut a new image with his magic pen, gave the art dealer a punch in the face. “Send me more photos of her work, her biodata. How many husbands she had, which lunatic institution she went to she looks like a coffin maker (pointing at the woodcraft) who wants to make it into art.”  Feeling insulted, the art dealer simply grabbed a dress he thinks worth his money and left with his slut.

Funny and nauseating.

Weather Watch

23-24 August 2016
7am: 26c, 7pm 29c, Rainy + Cloudy day
Shower on Tuesday night 10.30pm and Wednesday noon 2.00pm, drizzle on Wednesday morning 7am. The air was clean and crisp, mostly cloudy in the morning up to 10am. Very cooling weather albeit slightly humid (boob sweat).

22AUG16 Cloud
Low clouds. Not the thin and widespread Stratus, Not the huge Cumulonimbus. In between Stratocumulus and Cumulus, I go for the latter. Strato should be bigger, darker and less fibrous. This looks more like cauliflower. Yup so it’s Cumulus.

21-22 August 2016
7am – 25c, 7pm – 30c, Rain Twice
Drizzled for like 1 hour on Sunday night from 7.30 – 8.30 when doing 25km at KLCC. I think it also rained heavily on Monday’s wee hour, after 3.00 am. It’s much more humid now the skin can feel that (sticky yucks) most probably has gone back to 90% range. Judging from the color and visibility of the cloud, could safely say that the air is much cleaner now.

19-20 August 2016
25-33c, 50-70%, No Rain, Hazy in the after, Less hazy in the evening
Tried to check out the shape of clouds to predict the weather (sounds stupid) but then the sky looks like got smudged by some dusty and powdery finger lol can’t locate the cloud at all (or maybe I’m blind). No rain for at least 6 days. Ref: 10 Basic Cloud Types

17-18 August 2016
25-31c, 65-88%, No Rain, Less Hazy
Kena conned by Accuweather as usual, there was no rain on both Wednesday and Thursday. (Can’t recalled when was the last rain, most probably 10 days ago) Anyhow the air was cleaner and more humid than Monday and Tuesday. By the way maybe I should learn to predict the weather myself instead of using the apps hmmm. The Old Farmers Almanac has quite some interesting tips …

16 August 2016
25-34c, 50-80%, No Rain, Hazily Cloudy
Out for morning run at 8.30am. Temperature wise it’s a good weather for running coz I can’t feel the heat even after 9.30. But the haze is even worse today I should hit the gym more often than running outside. What a shame I just got back my momentum but then have to resort to the air-conditioned room again. Good news is, no more stuffy nose and sore throat yay. So looking forward to the heavy rain tomorrow. Malaymail: Changing winds may bring haze back.

15 August 2016
25 – 32c, 50 – 80%, No Rain
Skin especially the palm and feet were dryer, also didn’t sweat as much. Sneezed a few times and got slightly stuffy nose + sore throat. APIM lingered at healthy / normal level though.

Coming Races

Registered

  1. Standard Chartered KL Marathon, 7 Aug, 42km (Target: Sub4)
  2. Penang Bridge International Marathon, 27 Nov, 42km (Target: Sub4)
  3. Sultan Mahmud Bridge International Run, 24 Sept, 21km (Target: 152)
  4. Hari Sukan Negara Run, 8 Oct, 21km (Target: 152)

To be confirmed

  1. Putrajaya Night Marathon, 12 Nov, 42km
  2. Melaka River International Marathon, 4 Dec, 42km

Volunteer & Crewing (130 hours)

  1. Langkawi Ultra, 14 – 18 July ( 30+ hours)
  2. Fraser 70, 26 – 28 Aug (20+ hours)
  3. Back 2 Endurance, 4 Sep (12 hours)
  4. G5N, 1 – 2 Oct (30+ hours)
  5. UM24, 22 – 23 Oct (10+ hours)
  6. Putrajaya 100, 19 – 20 Nov (30+ hours)

Text From Your Extentialist

There’s quite some nice meme & quote from Text From Your Extentialist actually, other than Existential Comic (EC is more philosophical and deeper though). Those listed here are from TFYE, for my future reference. So good to have my own blog I can dump all the negativities here without intoxicating others. by the way, positive energy is overrated and self deceiving.

  1. We are all corpse flowers decaying slowly, being born again every ten years, and upon experiencing reality we say, “No Thanks” and promptly build the petals of illusion around us all over again, and repeat.
  2. What state do you live in? Constant Despair, you?
  3. How to lose a guy in 10 words? Ask him: Want to read the allegorical poem I wrote about you?
  4. The quiet terror of being alive super liked you.
  5. There are hot single in your area, dying slowly just like you (refering to Tinder)
  6. Which snapchat filter better conveys my perpetual sense of vague dread?
  7. Me flirting: Do you come here often and fantasize about your death under a pale moonlight?
  8. Hey rock bottom, I’m sorry for hitting you so much.
  9. Hey bb, wanna get together and contemplate the inevitability of death sometime?
  10. I don’t know about gravitational waves, but I know this much, you and I have always been two black holes violently orbiting around one another.
  11. Sorry I can’t, I’m already in a relationship with my self destruction.
  12. Of all the abysses in all the towns in all the world, he stares into mine.
  13. I’d woken up early, and I took a long time getting ready to exist.
  14. When people make plans with me it feels like a personal attack.
  15. I think I’ve outgrown reality already.
  16. I can’t tell if I’m feeling nothing or everything.
  17. Hello 911, I’m being held hostage by human consciousness.
  18. I tested positive for cosmic loneliness.

PBIM Training Log

Full Body Strength Training
  1. Elbow Plank 4 sets
  2. Leg Raise 60 reps
  3. Stiff-legged Kettlebell Deadlift, 8kg 100 reps
  4. Kettlebell Calf, 8kg 100 reps
  5. Normal Squat 100 reps
  6. Walking Lunge 100 steps
  7. Bench Dip 50 reps
  8. Dumbbell Bicep Curl, 2kg 100 reps each
  9. Lat Pull Down, 10kg 100 reps
  10. Sumo Squat, 8kg 100 reps
Side note
  1. Add weight for Normal Squat, Sumo Squat and Walking Lunge
  2. Increase Bench Dips’ rep to 100, and make the legs straighter
  3. Replace Lat Pull Down with other workout options (not using machine)
  4. Find out more workout info for oblique, upper back, quads, shin, ankle
  • Week 322 – 28 August 2016
    MonRest
    TueTreadmill Easy: 10km @ 1:06, 1%
    WedBC Easy: 12.2km @ 5:48, 294m D+, 1h 11m
    Thu 
    Fri 
    Sat 
    Sun 
    Total22.20km, 2h 17m
  • Week 215 – 21 August 2016
    MonBC Easy: 10km @ 6:05, 1h 1m
    TueBC Easy: 10km @ 6:15, 1h 3m
    WedRest: Shin Splints
    ThuTreadmill Easy: 10km @ 1h 05m, ST: Full – Lat – Sumo, 50m
    FriTreadmill Progressive: 5km @ 31m, 1%
    Sat Rest: Lazy
    Sun KLCC LSD: 25km @ 6:08, 2h 33m
    Total60km, 6h 10m. ST: 50m
  • Week 18 – 14 August 2016
    MonRest: Post SCKLM
    TueTreadmill Interval: 1km warm up + (400m 12kmh, 400m 8kmh) 10 sets + 1km cool down, total 10km, 1h 04m. ST: Full body, 1h **
    Wed Rest: Shin Splints + Sore
    Thu Treadmill Easy: 9.06km in 1h. ST: Plank 3 sets + Leg Raise 60 reps, 20mins
    FriRest: Lazy & Procrastinate
    Sat Track LSD: 21.2km @ 6:06 Pace, 2h 08m
    SunRest: Lazy & Procrastinate
    Total40.26km, 4h 14m + ST: 1h 20m 

SCKLM 2016

kl-marathon-logo-2016_7aug

Such an eventful day in Standard Chartered KL Marathon. The first 5km was pretty good running at 5:30 Pace / sub 4 pace, until the stomach cramp set in at about km6. Spent 7mins in the toilet at km8 and keep telling myself “don’t panic, shit it out first then we will figure out how to get this thing done.” By the time finished doing the big business, 5:00 hour pacer was approaching. Thought I will feel lighter in the coming miles but boy was I wrong. Second cramp came just after another 8km. 4 mins slipped away for toilet stop again at km 16. After the first toilet stop, I know for sure the target of sub 4 was gone, but it’s the second toilet stop that broke the spirit much further. Really. I just wanted to DNF. 21km done in 2:25 I had a good laugh while looking at the watch. Unless I can do an even split from now on, which seems to be a tall order, else sub 5 also can’t be done. Oh never mind the timing, I was feeling dizzy and lightheaded I just wanna go home. When passing by the train station I was trying to look for entrance so that I can call it a day. Damn they were all walled off from the highway and I couldn’t climb over. Sat down at the waterstation of km22 to wait for the Sweeper Bus for “early DNFer”.  But the sweeper bus just won’t come until cut off time. Can’t get grabcar or uber either, coz the road was all blocked. I really did explore all the possible options to DNF and go home. But none of them works. So I was stuck and had no choice but to drag the body to the finishing line. Lol which I’m glad I did. After some shuffling / Run-walking at km 23 – 25, surprisingly managed to recoup and got back to sub 6:00 pace up until 35km then kaput again lol. 35km at 3h 54mins. Pretty sure sub 5 could be done by then so I walked most of the remaining distance.

Split-01

In hindsight:

  1. Empty the tank by taking constipation treatment / laxatives 2 days before the race. Doesn’t matter if you laosai until faint before the race. Just don’t trust your “gut feeling” it actually fooled you for quite a few times already in the past. It’s not an ultra race where toilet stop doesn’t affect overall performance much. In FM every fucking seconds count.
  2. Drink slowly especially after 30km, probably 1-2 sips at a time. Don’t gulp down the whole cup. It’s not an ultra race where the stomach has enough time to process whatever gets in. Sloshing of the drink could be very violent and get you side stitch. Happened in Perlis marathon too.
  3. Do more strength training for the core and lower legs. Lower back was rather sore to keep the body upright. Calf / Shin / ankle was too weak to land properly after 35km coz both your mileage and ST doesn’t involve these muscle groups. But the upper leg was quite fine. In fact it’s the strong hamstring and glute that allows me to stride effortlessly in the first 5km and from 25 – 35km. *big hug for the upper leg* Lunges and squats really help.
  4. Don’t always skip your weekend long run la miss. Also 21km is not enough you gotta do more 25 to 30km. It’s for the overall endurance and mental strength really. Doesn’t matter how many 400m repeat and strength training you did, if you wanna do well after 30km you gotta dial in the 30km LSD. It’s just irreplaceable. Do the fucking miles. Just do it.
  5. Just because you’ve done quite a few 100km doesn’t mean you can do well consistently in FM. Things could get messy and out of control at sub 6:00 pace, both physically and mentally. Don’t belittle the 42km.

Training: Aug – Dec 2016

Approach

SCKLM this Sunday finally. Not feeling kan cheong at all, still can business as usual. In fact I felt relieved that this training thing can be put to a temporary end, although it’s not as tiring as the previous training, like the high-mileage thing in June / July last year (100 – 120km / week) which got me injured and sidelined for months, or P1 training which emphasized on trail running, climbing and elevation gain etc. 50 to 60km on flat is pretty manageable, to a point where I always feel guilty of not doing enough for the coming race. That’s the thing. I shouldn’t judge my effort solely base on the race results; else I will get caught in the “I am not doing enough” loop, like forever.

Perhaps my approach, or purpose, of training was wrong all these while? I signed up races and take it as the main source of motivation for training, even though I don’t enjoy the training process at all and sometimes it does more harm than good to the body and mind. I should do it the other way round. Enjoy and try to anticipate the daily training, see how the body improve and, along the way, run some races in accord to my fitness level and state of mind, merely for fun. It all comes back to the body itself, not FOMO or FODNF lol. I need something sustainable, something I can do for many years without changing the pattern much, except some refining.

Structure

The older I get the more I believe what Fengyun said is right. It’s all about the balance mix of Cardio, Strength and Flexibility. Along the way I will probably try to improve my poor balancing skill and agility etc but CSF is already good enough for the time being. Tentatively the plan for the remaining months of the year would be like this: 8 to 10 hours of training, which is quite manageable and I will try to slightly increase it to 12 hours a week. Running may take up 6 hours aka 60km a week, not much different from the volume I am doing for SCKLM. 1 speed session on Tuesday and 1 LSD of 21km – 30km on Saturday, the rest are all easy run either on treadmill, track, road or trail. Then I will just play around with the remaining 6 hours for strength training, cross training (RPM) and stretching (Yoga). Most probably 2 hours each.

For strength training, I may attend some of the classes like HIIT / Hardcore in the gym once in a while, but main aim is to do more body weight workout without PT / instructor, machine or equipment. To be more independent, to say the least. Then when I am travelling, got locked up in the jail again or simply don’t feel like leaving home, I can still move my ass. Also I need a structured plan, not improvising so that I’m not doing too much at once then jeopardize the training in coming days (like the silly 500 squats I did last week plus EMS the following day that literally put my glute and hamstring into coma); not focusing on certain muscle group but neglected the others, and also time the weight training session well so that I could have enough rest in between to absorb the stress. Hmm let me see… well okay, ideally, I should do core training every other day (abs, oblique, back), lower body twice a week (glute, quads, hamstring, calf, shin / dorsiflexion), Upper body once a week (bicep, tricep, shoulder, chest). I will just keep the workout simple, stick to 100 reps or 200 max then slowly increase the weight or speed, or change it to a more dynamic or difficult variations, instead of doing more reps.

As for cross training & stretching for flexibility, classes in the gym will be a good options as I am just too damn lazy to keep these workout at higher intensity. I need someone to push me lol and also to correct my form. Roger said he did quite a lot of cycling / RPM in the gym to train his upper legs so I’m gonna give it a try. And then Yoga to stretch the muscle and the joint a little (master the basics like downward dog urggg) Browsing through FF’s timetable only noticed there’s so many RPM and Yoga classes (for beginner) every day. I should make good use of them huh.

Schedule

As conclusion, here’s the ideal weekly training routine for the coming months: (Priority: Key workout for running + strength training, then cross training + stretching):

Day Run Dist. ST XT Stch.
Mon Easy 5km Yoga
Tue Speed 10km Co, Up, Lo
Wed Easy 10km Yoga
Thu Easy 5km Co RPM
Fri Rest completely
Sat LSD 20 – 30km Co, Lo
Sun Easy 5km RPM
Total 55 – 65km 2 hours 2 hours 2 hours

Rationale:

  1. Easy or rest on the day before key workout.
  2. RPM is scheduled at least 2 DAYS BEFORE the key workout.
  3. Strength training for lower body is scheduled AFTER the key workout.

Okay here’s the schedule of classes I may attend (too complicated the original timetable, I need this simplified one for easier reference). Highlighted ones are those that can fit into my weekly training schedule. Okay that also means I will hit the gym at least 4 days a week (most probably 6 days, except Friday).

Monday: 

  • 7.00 – 8.00 am Gentle Flow Yoga
  • 7.00 – 7.30 am Pro Cycling
  • 6.00 – 6.30 pm HIIT
  • 6.00 – 6.45 pm Gentle Flow Yoga
  • 7.45 – 8.45 pm Body Balance
  • 8.00 – 8.30 pm HIIT

Tuesday

  • 7.00 – 8.00 am RPM
  • 12.30 – 1.00 pm HIIT
  • 6.45 – 7.45 pm RPM
  • 6.45 – 7.45 pm Body Balance
  • 7.45 – 8.45 pm RPM
  • 7.45 – 8.45 pm Gentle Flow Yoga

Wednesday

  • 7.00 – 8.00 am RPM
  • 12.30 – 1.00 pm HIIT
  • 6.00 – 6.45 pm Gentle Flow Yoga
  • 6.45 – 7.45 pm RPM

Thursday

  • 7.00 – 8.00 am RPM
  • 6.00 – 6.30 pm HIIT
  • 6.00 – 6.45 pm Gentle Flow Yoga
  • 6.45 – 7.45 pm RPM
  • 7.45 – 8.45 pm Gentle Flow

Friday

  • 7.00 – 8.00 am RPM
  • 12.30 – 1.00 pm HIIT
  • 6.45 – 7.45 pm RPM Challenge
  • 7.00 – 7.30 pm HIIT
  • 7.30 – 8.30 pm Gentle Flow Yoga

Saturday

  • 9.20 – 10.20 am Body Balance
  • 11.00 – 12.00 pm RPM
  • 2.35 – 3.35 pm Body Balance

Sunday

  • 7.00 – 7.30 am HIIT
  • 11.30 – 12.30 pm RPM
  • 1.35 – 2.35 pm Gentle Flow Yoga